Be post-post modern: Serve kimchi in stemless wineglasses. It makes chopstick-fishing easier.

Unauthorized Kim Chi

For classic kimchi, use Napa cabbage. Or go rogue like us and use red cabbage for the crunch, English cucumbers, daikons and radishes.

• 1 pound of your favorite vegetables
• 3 tablespoons of sea salt, divided
• 1 teaspoon raw garlic, minced
• 3 green onions, chopped
• 2 tablespoons red chili flakes
• 1 tablespoon vinegar
• 1 tablespoon honey, optional

1. Chop vegetables into bite-size pieces (we like small discs for the radishes and cucumbers).
2. Add 6 cups of warm water and 2 tablespoons sea salt to a small bowl. Mix.
3. Add vegetables to the brine mixture, and allow this to sit overnight at room temperature.
4. Drain brine, leaving vegetables in bowl, into another container.
5. Add minced garlic, onions, chili flakes, vinegar, the extra tablespoon of salt and honey.
6. Toss together until thoroughly mixed.
7. Pour into jars and fill extra jar space with leftover brine.
8. Store in refrigerator for 2 to 4 days to allow for fermentation. [Note: this is the minimum allotment of time -- you can soak in brine up to weeks for less crunchy vegetables and more intense flavor.]

Go double rogue: One of our favorite Chinese hole in walls serves kimchi when you arrive to the table (the Asian version of a bread basket?) for noshing solo pre-meal or garnishing your dishes as you eat.

Be authentic: Hit up a Korean grocery and ask for 'ko choo kah rhoo' which literally means "ground hot peppers" to season your concoction.

If maple syrup makes you hot under the collar, use a baking brush to wipe a quick maple glaze on top of the cookies when they've come out of the oven. Aunt Jemima would be proud.

Bacon-Maple-Macadamia Chip Cookies

• 2 1/4 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 stick butter (room temperature)
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup bacon chocolate, rough-chopped
• 1/8 cup pure maple syrup
• 1 cup macadamia nuts, rough-chopped

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
2. Combine flour, salt, and baking soda in a bowl.
3. Combine butter, sugars and vanilla in a separate bowl.
4. Beat in egg.
5. Incorporate the dry mixture until it is fully combined.
6. Stir in chocolate, maple syrup and nuts.
7. Place spoonfuls of batter about 2 inches apart on a non-stick cookie sheet.
8. Bake 8 to 10 minutes, checking for deep brown edges.
9. Let cool for 10 minutes before transferring to serving plate or dish.

Enjoy!

Peel one eye open, catch your reflection in the alarm clock, and ask yourself, “Where am I? How did I get home? Why am I sporting a wedding ring and Ryan Seacrest neck tattoo?

Key to the hangover cure: Adding some heat from a spicy salsa verde.

It’s 11:00 a.m., or is it p.m. … hmmm, what day is it? You groan-slur-slobber audibly but inarticulately (apparently she’s heard this response before and leaves). You roll yourself out of bed, spritz off the funk from last night’s mayhem and drag your limp body downstairs to to Simon, the hottest new brunch spot in Vegas at the Palms Place hotel.

Yes, there are gorgeous sun worshipers awake, alert and lounging poolside (you won’t be one of them). You scan the menu for a quick cure for your head-to-toe hangover and find: Simon French Toast, a brioche crusted with Frosted Flakes; a fried chicken and waffles platter with maple syrup; and a sloppy breakfast sandwich towering with eggs, ham, bacon and cheddar on an English Muffin. Heck, you’d eat it even if you weren’t still slightly drunk.

You ask the waiter-model for the Vegas morning remedy and he gives their most-popular option: the enormous Simon Breakfast Wrap, with a spicy Bloody Mary sidecar, so simple you can make it at home.

Simon’s Breakfast Wrap

• Large flour tortilla
• Hash brown potatoes
• Scrambled eggs
• Grated cheddar cheese
• Crispy bacon
• Green poblano chiles

1. Stuff as much of each of these ingredients in a huge flour tortilla and wrap burrito style. Cut in half and serve with salsa verde.

We’re off-roading this by adding: avocado slices, grilled onions or leeks, mushrooms and a spoonful of sour cream.

Spicy Bloody Mary

• 2 ounces Skyy vodka
• 1/2 cup tomato juice
• Couple dashes each of Worcestershire and Tobasco sauces

1. Place ingredients in a pint glass filled with ice and stir to mix
   Garnish with a cocktail pick of 2 green olives and a lemon wedge

If you’re making it at home, one bloody probably won’t cut it – we suggest mixing a pitcher so you can sip well after noon.

Top off with a beer floater to help with digestion (*note, we're not doctors).

We’re test-driving other tried-and-true hangover cures next.

"The Sure Thing" Breakfast in Bed for 2.

Truffled Eggs in a Hat

• Brioche bread, sliced 1-inch thick
• Butter
• 2 eggs
• Truffle cheese (we prefer Boschetto al Tarfuto Bianchetto because it’s easy to grate)

1. Preheat the top broiler in your oven and move the rack to the highest position.
2. Punch a round hole in the center of each slice of brioche (using a cookie cutter makes for a perfectly round “hat” hole, you could use a knife or shot glass too).
3. Heat a 10-inch skillet over medium-low heat and melt 1 tablespoon butter.
4. Toast both pieces of bread in the skillet at the same time, about a minute on each side.
5. Crack an egg into each hole and let cook for a 30 seconds to a minute, until just hard enough to flip over without breaking or falling out of the bread.
6. Flip the bread over in the skillet.
7. Grate the truffle cheese on top of egg and bread, the quickly place in the oven.
8. Broil with the oven open for just a minute or two, until cheese starts to bubble.
9. Remove from the oven and serve. (We skipped salt and pepper because the truffle cheese is bursting with flavor)

Fruit Salad

• 1 plum
• 1 white peach
• 1 yellow tomato
• 1 red tomato
• 4 to 5 basil leaves, chopped
• 4 to 5 mint sprigs, chopped
• Champagne vinegar
• Olive oil
• Kosher salt
• Freshly ground black pepper

1. Slice fruit into equally sized pieces, place in a bowl and add basil and mint leaves.
2. Drizzle with champagne vinegar and olive oil (we like 2 parts vinegar to 1 part olive oil) then season with salt and pepper.
3. Toss and serve.

Plum Bellini

• 4 plums
• 1 bottle Prosecco or Cava (We stocked the house with a case of this Prosecco, at the low price we don’t feel guilty adding fruit to our bubbles).

1. Cut the plums in half and remove the pits.
2. Muddle the plums with a mortar and pestle.
3. Strain juice out (it’s not a ton, but you know us and the girlie drinks).
4. Pour Prosecco into two champagne flutes, about 3/4 full. Add plum juice to fill.
5. Garnish with a thin plum slice and serve.
6. To serve: One last must-have for dining in the bedroom, the tray.

The best assignment we’ve ever given ourselves: Fresh ways to keep our honeys in bed longer on the weekends.

Sidecar with a tequila-chipotle aioli and a rocks-filled margarita.

Mezcal Carnitas

Serves 4 to 6. This recipe makes tender, fall-from-the-bone carnitas. If you like a crispier bite, roast shredded pork in a hot oven for several minutes post stove-top cooking.

• 2 pounds pork shoulder
• Salt
• Juice from 1/2 lime
• Dash chile powder and ground cumin
• Bay leaf
• Cinnamon stick
• 1/2 cup mezcal
• Water

1. Trim excess fat from the pork shoulder and then sprinkle meat with salt.
2. Place all ingredients in a large stock pot, then add water to cover the pork.
3. Bring to a boil then cover and simmer over low heat for 45 minutes.
4. Uncover and continue to cook until the liquid is evaporated. Pork will begin to fall apart.
5. Cool and shred into pieces.

1. Serve with a spread of hand-made tortillas, pickled cabbage or onions, cotija cheese, freshly chopped cilantro and lime wedges. Do we have to mention the guacamole and salsa?

Top with pickled everything — cabbage, jalapeños, onions, radishes, carrots. The spice marries well with the sour.

Whisk your spirits into your mayo and use to top your favorite sandwich.

Chipotle-Tequila Aioli

Bring on the tacos, black-bean cakes and anything else you’ve got hidden in that cocina.

• 1/2 cup quality mayonnaise (yep, full fat)
• 1/2 to 1 teaspoon chipotle in adobo sauce
• 3 tablespoons tequila
• S&P to taste
• Fresh cilantro, optional to garnish

1. Whisk ingredients together. Serve.

Bitter Celery Aioli

Place a mini sidecar of this next to your plate for dunking roasted garlic vegetables or sautéed fish.

• 1/2 cup quality mayonnaise (yep, full fat)
• Several dashes celery bitters, to taste

1. Whisk ingredients together. Serve.

Cynar Aioli

Just a dab, please, for omelets or grilled chicken, calamari and vegetables.

• 1/2 cup quality mayonnaise (yep, full fat)
• 1 tablespoon Cynar liqueur (adjust for taste)

1. Whisk ingredients together. Serve.

Drunken Apricot-Mango Aioli

An interesting addition to your raw bar, spicy dumplings or seafood cakes.

• 1/2 cup quality mayonnaise (yep, full fat)
• 1 tablespoon apricot liqueur (adjust for taste)
• 1 mango, peeled and chopped
• S&P to taste

1. Blend ingredients in a blender or food processor.

This is just a start of the experimentation. Next up, grapefruit, nuts and herbal flavorings.

Freshly ground black pepper, crushed red pepper flakes or paprika add some heat to the crunch.

Here goes:

• Try them solo or lay them over scallops, fish steaks or a slab of your favorite grilled beef.
• Toss into salads.
• Crunch them over grilled vegetables, dips and omelets.
• Garnish a savory brunch cocktail.
• Make them thicker and serve as the bottom to your one-bite appetizer.

To fuel your OCD, off-road the recipe by hitting the cheese with herbs or seasoning, like parsley or dill, about half-way into cooking. You can also add minced jalapeños or kalamata olives if you want to make guests feel inadequate about their culinary skills.

The Parm Crisp

A good starter recipe, sub in any hard cheese for the parmesan. Our favorite are truffled cheese and those with nutty, stinky or savory notes.

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Micro thin-slice your favorite block of parm onto a lightly oiled baking sheet. You can also grate or shred cheese into a circular pattern.
3. Bake for 4 to 5 minutes, until golden. Cool and remove with spatula.

Serve these with a round of dips like artichoke-spinach.

Use over-sized cubes that melt more slowly and keep the high-impact flavor in tact.

The drink:

Cuppa Cold Chai

When the temps drop, serve this fireside and steaming hot. In the meantime, sip on ice under your poolside cabana.

• 2 cups water
• 1/2 teaspoon each ground cardamon and fennel seeds
• 1 to 2 sticks cinnamon
• 1 tea bag (preferably loose tea in a silk satchel)
• 2 teaspoons brown sugar (ratio is 1 teaspoon sugar per 8 ounces water to taste)

1. Add cardamom, fennel, and cinnamon to water in a pot.
2. Boil for about 5 minutes on high heat. Remove from heat and let cool for 2 minutes.
3. Add 1 tea bag per 8 ounces boiled water. Steep for 3 to 4 minutes and remove tea bags.
4. Add sugar. Strain and chill in the fridge overnight.
5. Serve on ice.

The snack:

Chocolate Snowballs

These frozen chocolate bombs can be spiked with ginger or mint for a more refreshing zing.

• 2 cups water
• 1 hot chocolate packet
• 2 cups crushed chocolate wafers
• ¼ cup melted butter
• 1 cup powdered sugar

1. Boil water, add hot chocolate mix and stir.
2. Freeze mixture until malleable enough to mix with other ingredients.
3. Add wafers and butter to hot chocolate. Mix well then form into balls.
4. Roll in powdered sugar.
5. Serve immediately or slightly refreeze for a firmer, cooler consistency.

Hit these babies with a little cayenne and get ready to giddy-up!

Sweet Potato Chips

This is the basic recipe, feel free to top with chives, scallions or garlic to taste and serve with your own dips.

• 1 sweet potato, cut into 1/8-inch slices
• 1 1/3 tablespoons olive oil, give or take a few drops
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Coat baking sheet lightly with oil, so the chips don’t stick.
3. Place slices next to each other, so none are overlapping, on the baking sheet.
4. Sprinkle with S&P.
5. Bake 25 to 35 minutes, depending on the thickness of the slice, until brown. Turn half-way through baking to ensure even cooking.

Crunchy Swiss Chard

This is the basic recipe. Sub in kale and/or use chili pepper oil spiked with garlic and lime juice, rather than plain olive oil, for a kick. You can also do these Asian-style by hitting the olive oil with a touch of soy sauce and rice wine vinegar before baking.

• 3 to 4 decent-sized leaves of chard, washed, de-stemmed, leaves trimmed to equal size
• 1 1/3 tablespoons olive oil, divided
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees.
2. Coat baking sheet lightly with about 1 teaspoon oil, so the chips don’t stick.
3. Toss chard in remaining olive oil so its coated thoroughly.
4. Place chips next to each other, so none are overlapping, on the baking sheet.
5. Sprinkle with S&P.
6. Bake about 12 to 15 minutes, depending on the size of the leaf, until crispy. Turn half-way through baking to ensure even cooking.

Fruit Chips

Try these as a quick dessert, snack or garnish.

• Thinly sliced fruit a la pears, peaches, apples … anything goes
• Melted butter
• Cinnamon
• Brown sugar

1. Preheat oven to 275 degrees.
2. Toss fruit in melted butter and sprinkle with cinnamon and brown sugar.
3. Cook for about 20 to 30 minutes in the oven, until crispy. Turn half-way through baking to ensure even cooking.

Got fresh fruit? Screw the cobbler. Pickled berries separate the men from the boys.

The recipe below is basic. Start with the pickling juice ratios listed and then adjust the seasonings to your personal taste. You can dunk just about any fruit, pepper or vegetable imaginable and when finished, these babies stand alone as bar snacks or easily double as your new cocktail garnishes, sandwich toppers, grilled fish finishers, sushi sidecars … name your accoutrements. At the very least, your bloody mary bar just got way hotter.

Fast Fruit Pickles

• 4 cups distilled white vinegar
• 3 cups water
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 tablespoons kosher salt
• Pickling spices
• &^%&*^ load of fruit (we used cherries, blueberries, plums, peaches, pears, mangos and watermelon rind)

1. Start with a ratio white vinegar, water, sugar at 4:3:1/2, then add salt.
2. Add pickling spices and taste. Adjust seasoning to your liking.
3. Drop fruit into the pickling juice, making sure you cover everything.
4. Chill for several hours.

Pickling Spices

• 1 tablespoon each of whole black peppercorns and allspice
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 2 star anise
• Handful of thyme sprigs
• 2 to 3 rosemary sprigs
• Several bay leaves
• 2 cloves garlic, peeled and halved
• 2-inch piece of ginger, peeled and sliced
• 1 jalapeño, halved
• Basil leaves, a handful … BYOJudgment

The bonus: you can reuse pickling juices for another round of fruits and vegetables.

Platter a slew of fruit pickles during your next patio party and serve as cocktail sidecars, garnishes and snacks. Or have them handy for topping your grill bits.

It took some time for our Sloppy Joe to grow up too, this version’s aged with ground pork and Asian seasonings for an adult take on a fun party meal.

Pile a slaw of shredded daikon, apple and carrots on your Grown Up Sloppy Joe for a gingery crunch.

Grown Up Sloppy Joe

Serves 6

• 3 count pour oil
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• Kosher salt
• 2 celery stalks, minced
• 1 red bell pepper, minced
• 1 serrano pepper, seeds removed, minced
• 1/2 cup crushed pineapple with juice
• 2 pounds ground pork
• 2 tablespoons Hoisin sauce
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 2 tablespoons ketchup
• 1 tablespoon rice vinegar
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon dark soy sauce
• Paste of 1 cup hot water, 1 tablespoon Hoisin, 1 tablespoon ketchup
• Soft white hamburger buns, toasted
• Asian slaw

1. Sauté onion in oil until translucent. Add garlic and salt, cook for about a minute then add celery, bell pepper, serrano pepper and pineapple. Simmer for about 5 minutes until vegetables are soft. Remove from pan and set aside.
2. Brown pork thoroughly then add vegetables, Hoisin, tomato paste, ketchup, rice vinegar and soy sauces to pot.
3. Make a paste of water, Hoisin and ketchup then add to the mixture as it cooks down.
4. Simmer until warmed through and sloppy.
5. Serve on toasted buns piled with Asian slaw.

Asian Slaw

• 2 carrots, grated
• 1 medium daikon, grated
• 1 green apple, grated
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 4 large pieces candied ginger, minced
• 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro

1. Combine all items in a large bowl and toss.

These Sloppy Joe’s can be made into bite-size sliders for your next cocktail party — don’t forget the napkins.

We'll just have to use chicken salad instead.

Steak Scampi

Carnivores, kick up your heels. This twist on shrimp scampi is decidedly absent of seafood.

• Vegetable oil
• 1 tablespoon kosher salt
• 3/4 pound linguine
• 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 1/2 tablespoons good olive oil
• 1 1/2 tablespoons minced garlic (about 4 cloves)
• 1 pound filet mignon cooked to liking and sliced thin
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley leaves
• Zest from 1/2 lemon
• 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (2 lemons)
• 1/4 lemon, thinly sliced in half-rounds
• 1/8 teaspoon hot red pepper flakes

1. Pour vegetable oil in a large pot of boiling water. Add salt.
2. Cook linguine for about 10 minutes, depending on pasta consistency preference.
3. Melt butter and olive oil over medium-low heat in another saucepan. Add garlic and sauté for 1 minute.
4. Add steak, black pepper and additional salt to taste.
5. Remove from the heat when you reach desired temp.
6. Add parsley, lemon zest, lemon juice, lemon slices and red pepper flakes.
7. Toss with pasta.

Veal Cakes

Crab cakes don’t stand a chance when put head to head with this spin. Seafood not included. On purpose.

• 1 pound veal, cooked to rare or medium-rare
• 1/3 cup shredded bread (rustic bread, like ciabatta)
• 3 green onions, finely chopped
• 1/4 cup mayonnaise
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon dry mustard
• Juice of ½ of a lemon
• 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• Dash cayenne pepper
• Dash paprika
• Flour, for dusting
• 1/2 cup peanut oil
• Favorite dipping sauce, for serving

1. Mix everything in a large bowl, except flour and peanut oil.
2. Shape into thick, palm-sized patties and dust with flour.
3. Heat peanut oil in a large skillet over medium heat.
4. Add patties in batches to fry for 4 to 5 minutes on each side.
5. Serve warm with dipping sauce.

Chicken Bisque

Sure, it doesn’t have the sex appeal that, say, lobster bisque has, but give this recipe a whirl. It’s rich, thick and surprisingly satisfying, given there’s not a drop of seafood in sight.

• 1 large stewing chicken
• 4 celery ribs
• 4 carrots
• 2 onions, cut in half
• 1/2 cup bell pepper, chopped
• 1/2 pound butter
• 1 cup flour
• 1/2 cup chopped peppers
• 1 can sweet corn, drained
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes

1. Place chicken, celery, carrots, bell pepper and onion in a large pot and pour in just enough water to cover them.
2. Cook on low until the chicken is tender. Strain — this will leave you with about 8 cups of chicken stock.
3. Cut up chicken and set aside.
4. Make a roux by melting butter and slowly adding flour as you stir.
5. Bring stock to a low boil in another pot and slowly add roux.
6. Simmer 15 minutes or until a glaze forms over the mixture.
7. Add chopped chicken, pimiento, sweet corn, black pepper and a few red pepper flakes.
8. Whisk constantly until everything has warmed. Serve.

The natural creaminess of risotto marries well with the coconut milk and spicy Thai add-ins.

Thai Chicken Curry Risotto

• 2 cups chicken stock
• 2 cups Tom Yum soup (from your local Thai food restaurant or online)
• 1 tablespoon oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 cup risotto
• 1/2 cup white wine
• 1 tablespoon Thai chili paste in oil
• 3 tablespoons coconut milk
• 1 red bell pepper
• 1/2 can bamboo shoots, sliced into long strips
• 3/4 pound chicken tenders, sliced into bite-size pieces
• Few dashes of Thai soy sauce
• Basil leaves

1. Combine stock and soup in a saucepan and bring to a boil then continue to simmer.
2. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat, add onion, and stir in risotto once onion has cooked down. Cook risotto until it becomes translucent then add wine and cook until it is evaporated. Turn heat down to medium.
3. Add stock mixture, one cup at a time, to the risotto, stirring constantly. Once each cup is absorbed, add another until the rice is al dente.
4. Heat a wok and add chili paste in oil and coconut milk then cook until it’s hot and the oil begins to separate.
5. Add bell pepper and bamboo shoots, sauté for a couple minutes, then add chicken tenders and continue to cook until chicken is done. Splash with Thai soy sauce and stir.
6. Stir in chopped basil leaves to taste then serve curried chicken on top of risotto.

To do, stir seasonings into olive oil, submerge skewers for 30 to 60 minutes, allow to dry and grill on …

Citrus-infused olive oil makes skewers versatile and delicious — downsize them and experiment using as cocktail picks.

Some ideas:

East Meets West Skewer Seasoning

Great for shrimp, fish or chicken.

• 2 cups chili-infused olive oil
• 1/8 teaspoon chili flakes
• 1/8 teaspoon ginger powder

1. Mix chili flakes and ginger powder into olive oil
2. Steep skewers for 30 minutes to an hour.
3. Let dry and they’re ready for use.

The Godfather Skewer Seasoning

Ideal with meats or chicken.

• Tomato juice
• Garlic-infused olive oil
• Garlic powder

1. Steep skewers in tomato juice for 15 minutes.
2. Mix garlic powder into olive oil
3. Steep skewers for 30 minutes to an hour.
4. Let dry and they’re ready for use.

Citrus Skewer Seasoning

Soft and light for vegetables.

• Lime juice
• Lemon-infused olive oil

1. Steep skewers in lime juice for 15 minutes.
2. Follow by steeping skewers for 30 minutes to an hour in oil.
3. Let dry and they’re ready for use.

If you’re too busy or lazy (no judgments here), try pre-seasoned grillin’ sticks.

Infuse your booze with fruity flavors with an infuser like this one, to make your fruit soup extra tangy, sweet or berry-y.

Summer Fruit Soup

• 1 cup peaches, cleaned and diced
• 1 cup pomegranate seeds
• 1 cup raspberries
• 6 cups water
• ½ cup white honey (as desired)
• ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• ¼ cup cold water
• White rum and fresh mint, for garnish

1. Combine fruit, water, honey and cinnamon in a large pot.
2. Bring mixture to a boil, cover.
3. Simmer on low heat for 1 hour.
4. Mix cornstarch with cold water. Add to mixture and let simmer for 5 more minutes.
5. Remove from heat and refrigerate.
6. Serve cold with fresh mint and a drop or two of white rum.

Get funky: Add a dollop or two of shaved ice or sorbet in the middle of the soup just before serving for an extra cool treat.

This notion that we can evolve our cake toppings (read: frosting wtf?) made us turn to chutney for experimentation. It’s spicy, fruity, chunky and a more interesting mouth experience. You can top it or sidecar it with your cake, your choice…decisions, decisions…see, it’s already more captivating than ever.

Smack your cake with a gourmet feel in 5 seconds. Open jar, spoon. Done.

Through much calorie-laden sampling, our favorite combos are below, along with links to the store-bought chutneys options. Kudos to you if you DIY.

Pear-cardamom with citrus-flavored cakes, like blood orange.

Apricot-ginger with lemon-poppy cakes or gingerbread.

Mango with banana or berry cakes and breads.

Grape chutney made with apples, pears and hazelnuts with this incredible bittersweet chocolate-pear cake.

Plum lavender with chocolate anything.

It's true, there's something a little awkward about this photo — perhaps it's the uncomfortable positioning of the beer can? You'll love the results in the end (pun intended).

So serve up the booze, the fire and the sweets — in one blazing BBQ of glory — and you’ll convert everyone to your new richer, sweeter, juicier grilled chicken experience.

Beer Can Chicken

• 1 whole chicken
• Canola oil (red pepper-infused for extra spice)
• 1 tablespoon cocoa powder
• 1 tablespoon cumin
• 1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon paprika
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 1 tablespoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon white pepper
• 1 can Young’s Double Chocolate Stout
• Zest of one lime

1. Clean the chicken (remove neck, giblets) and season with S&P. Pat dry with a paper towel.
2. Coat chicken very sparsely with oil. Combine dry spices in a small bowl.
3. Rub bird inside and out generously with the spice mixture. Set aside.
4. Nab the beer (the chocolate notes complement the brown sugar base of any BBQ sauce). Rinse and dry the can if you’re a germ-a-phobe, otherwise assume the open fire and high temps will scorch bacteria.
5. Crack open the can and chug until it’s half full (this is a very precise science).
6. Stick the can “open side up” into the chicken cavity.
7. Position the bird on the grate like a tripod atop the two legs and can.
8. Cook it for 75 minutes until the internal temperature of the bird becomes 165 degrees in the breast and 180 degrees in the thigh.
9. Remove from grill and let sit 10 minutes.
10. Slather on your favorite BBQ sauce and gorge.

Beer-Battered Onion Rings

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon cocoa powder
• 1 tablespoon paprika
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 2 eggs, separated
• 1 cup Young’s Double Chocolate Stout
• 4 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 dash of salt
• 3 large onions, sliced into rings
• 2 quarts oil for frying
• BBQ sauce and sour cream for dipping

1. Sift flour and set aside 1 cup for dipping.
2. Whisk egg yolks in a separate bowl.
3. Mix beer, butter and salt into egg yolks.
4. Stir egg yolks into flour.
5. Let stand 30 minutes to an hour.
6. Heat deep fryer to 375 degrees.
7. Beat egg whites and slowly combine with batter.
8. Coat sliced onions with flour then dip into batter.
9. Deep fry a few at a time until golden brown.
10. Let sit on paper towels to remove excess grease.
11. Serve with BBQ sauce and sour cream.

Pair Indian-spiced fried rice with a Desi salsa of chopped veggies.

Indian-Spiced Vegetarian Fried Rice

Serves 2

This dish rocks with the traditional Indian side dish raita: plain yogurt flavored with finely diced or grated cucumbers and freshly ground pepper, salt and toasted cumin.

• 1 to 2 cups basmati rice, cooked, cooled and preferably left in refrigerator overnight
• Vegetable oil
• 1 small yellow onion, diced
• 1 carrot, diced
• 1 teaspoon whole cumin, toasted and ground
• 1 teaspoon whole coriander, toasted and ground
• ½ teaspoon ground turmeric
• 1 teaspoon garam masala
• ½ teaspoon chili powder
• 1 head spinach leaves
• 1 tomato, finely diced
• ½ cup fresh or frozen peas

1. Sauté onion in oil in a large wok until the onion is translucent, add carrot and spices and cook until carrot is soft. Stir in spinach leaves, tomato and peas, continue to cook until spinach is wilted.
2. Add rice to vegetable mixture, stirring until heated through.

Anything's masculine with grill marks.

Kahlua Cakes on the Cob

For the Cake:

• 1 package plain devil’s food cake mix
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 3/4 cup Kahlua
• 3/4 cup buttermilk
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 3 large eggs

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 2 or 3 mini-cupcake cake pans and dust with flour.
2. Blend cake mix, cocoa, Kahlua, buttermilk, oil and eggs in a large mixing bowl with an electric blender on low for 30 seconds. Scrape sides of the bowl to incorporate all batter then increase mixing speed to medium for 2 more minutes.
3. Spoon batter into the cupcake tins. Each section should be about halfway filled.
4. Bake for about 30 minutes, until they spring back when you push them in with your finger. Place on drying rack to cool.

For the Icing:

• 2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 6 tablespoons boiling water
• 2 tablespoons Kahlua
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, softened
• 4 cups confectioners sugar, sifted
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1. Put cocoa powder, boiling water and Kahlua in a large mixing bowl to start the frosting. Stir into a mass, add butter and blend with an electric mixer at low speed for 30 seconds.
2. Add sugar and cinnamon and blend with electric mixer at low speed for 1 minute.
3. Blend 2 minutes more on medium. Do not frost your cakes … yet.

Now, the cakes must be skewered alongside their ladies-in-waiting: drunken strawberries!

For the Kebabs:

• Large strawberries, de-stemmed
• Champagne
• Granulated sugar

1. Soak strawberries in a bowl of champagne for 5 minutes; take out before they get soggy.
2. Roll strawberries in sugar. This will allow a nice sugary crust to form when they cook.
3. Alternate skewering strawberries and cupcakes. Make sure they are secure. Do not frost.
4. Fire up the grill on low.
5. Grill for about 2 minutes on each side (until you notice grill marks on your cupcakes).
6. Slather kebabs with Kahlua icing (like you would butter on a corncob).
7. Enjoy ad nauseam.

To funkify your kebabs, sprinkle choc chips or rainbow jimmies on top of the icing. Try the kebab idea with muffins and fruit—top with honey or yogurt.

Try using tiny martini skewers to make mini-sized desert kebabs and prop up in a martini glass filled with frosting.

Top fresh pasta with JC Poirer's pork ragu, chopped basil and grated pecorino. Sidecar with roasted asparagus and a watercress salad.

Tagliarini Ragu a la JC Poirier

Pork ragu over noodles, garnished with fresh basil and grated pecorino.

Pork Ragu

• 1 cup vegetable oil
• 3 pounds pork belly
• 2 pounds beef ribs
• 1 onion
• 1 carrot
• ½ head celery
• 8 cloves garlic
• 2 cups (½ litre) white wine
• 3 tablespoons tomato paste
• 2 cups San Marzano canned tomatoes
• 1 bay leaf
• 4 cups (1 litre) milk

1. Salt and pepper meat very well.
2. Heat a large sauté pan, add 1 cup vegetable oil, sear off the meat very well.
3. Remove the meat and add onions, carrot, celery, garlic and bay leaf, cook until tender.
4. Add white wine, cook until reduced by ¾.
5. Add and dissolve tomato paste and canned tomatoes.
6. Place all the ingredients into a deep casserole, cover with milk and water just enough to cover. Wrap with tin foil very tightly.
7. Place in slow oven and cook until tender 4 to 6 hours.
8. Remove from oven, let rest for 30 minutes.
9. Strain off the broth and reduce by ¾.
10. Pick meat off the bones and add the reduced jus.

Tagliarini Noodles

• 250 grams semolina
• 250 grams all purpose flour
• 13 yolks
• 1 whole egg

1. Combine dry ingredients; make a well in the center.
2. Whisk eggs and add to well.
3. Stir slowly and incorporate dry ingredients.
4. Knead 5 to 10 minutes once the dough has formed.
5. Roll through pasta machine and cut into noodles.
6. Cook in salted water.